In the previous installment of Horror Realm 2010, I concluded with a teaser: I said that in part three, I'd be talking about how I almost slept in and missed the plane home because Jacob Kier and I stayed up Sunday night, wondering why anyone would want to send a zombie back in time. Well, that's mostly bullshit.
On Sunday, the last day of Horror Realm, I felt like crap. Jacob Kier and I had stayed up late Saturday. Can't remember why. Okay, maybe we went dancing at the Night of the Living Dead Costume Ball, maybe we didn't. Who knows. Point is, I was dead tired and losing my voice--and my author panel was early that afternoon.
I attended the panel directly before mine to hear the readings of Mike Watt, James Melzer (watch video), and Tony Monchinski. One of them said "fuck" a lot. I'm not saying who. James Melzer presented a novel in progress, which he read from some kind of e-book reader. Here's a video to prove it...
Their panel was great, but it went till noon, which left me fifteen minutes to prepare for my own. I still needed to run up to my room to use the bathroom--had business that couldn't be dealt with in a public place--and also I needed to look up the pronunciation of the word "kaffiyeh." I knew how to spell it and what it was, and I even knew its cultural significance, but I swear I had never heard it spoken aloud. Sometimes I think I know how to spell more words than I know how to pronounce.
The first part of my reading went well. The second part... fatigue really affects the language centers in my brain. I think "kaffiyeh" is the only word I did pronounce properly. So I'm surprised I wasn't saying "fuck" a lot. But I keep a pretty cool head, and it takes a lot to embarrass me (like using public toilets; urinals are fine).
Timothy Long and Zombie Zak, my panel peers, did a great job. ZZ read from Chaptered and Versed: Poetic and Cursed, and Tim read "My Girlfriend's Got Crabs," a chapter from The Zombie Wilson Diaries.
Not long after my reading, and I think this is no coincidence, people started tearing down their booths, and the convention came to an end. I talked to the sword guy, who sells real Hanso steel, and he lost a lot of money on this event; I guess that's because in this universe, Uma Thurman doesn't need to decapitate any Crazy Eighty-Eights.
I wanted to make it an early night because I had to be back to the airport at four in the morning, but for some reason Jacob and I decided to plot a novel till half past midnight. Somehow it involved a time-traveling chair and the Vice President. Oh, and a zombie, which, for reasons beyond us, someone sent back in time. Long story short, I slept nearly the whole plane ride home. But at least I made it to the airport early. Too early, if you ask me.
Fuck.
D.L. Snell writes with Permuted Press. He edited Dr. Kim Paffenroth twice, John Dies at the End once, and provided a constructive critique to Joe McKinney on his next major novel after Dead City. You can shoot D.L. Snell in the head at www.exit66.net.
To reprint this article, please contact D.L. Snell.
Showing posts with label horrorrealm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horrorrealm. Show all posts
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Horror Realm 2010, Pt. 2
After being harassed for a tip by an Eat'n Park waiter and being called "weird" by a bald pedophile, I was looking forward to what Saturday might bring. Never would I have guessed that I'd end up in a sexy situation with Ken Foree. But let's save that for later...
First thing that morning, I sat on a panel called "Zombie Authors Round Table," along with guys such as Jonathan Maberry and Kim Paffenroth. Like a true zombie horde, the panel outnumbered the audience...
Dr. Pus asked us questions like "Why zombies?" and "Fast or slow?" Here's how I answered those two:
Later that day, I attended Jonathan Maberry's panel. I can't even tell you how encouraging this guy is, and how informative. He's not only a great storyteller, he knows the business: Jonathan got paid seven figures, I think, for a two-book contract in the young adult market. I picked up the first book, Rot & Ruin, which you can find in my Authors bookstore (I've updated the store, by the way, with titles featured at Horror Realm--except for Permuted titles that are found in my Permuted store).
Anyway, Jonathan has an inspiring philosophy. He says the business of writing is not a competition, but a cooperative effort: the more success one author has, the more success another will have, so it makes sense to help each other out. I completely agree. If you have a chance to see this guy at a convention, take it. He's awesome.
Okay, so now it's sexy time with Ken Foree. Most of you are probably imagining lubes and ticklers and zombie makeup--but I've led you on. The truth is actually anticlimactic: I attended Ken Foree's panel, and it happened to be about his sexual exploits, none of which include me. Ken told us about his heyday, one movie shoot in particular where he took just about every woman, including a newlywed. "Judge me if you want," he said. "I'm just telling it like it is. This is what happened." Telling it like it is: a twenty-something blonde followed Ken around the convention; eyewitnesses even saw them kissing. Ken, you dog, you!
At the end of the day, I went with Jacob Kier and Tony Monchinski to see Inception. Pretty good film, although I wish they had done more world bending; that was my favorite part. I definitely was expecting more of a mystery, but it was more of a thriller. "A heist movie" is how Jacob described it. Definitely worth a watch!
Come back soon for the final installment of Horror Realm 2010: I'll be talking about how I almost slept in and missed the plane home because Jacob Kier and I stayed up all night, wondering why anyone would want to send a zombie back in time...
D.L. Snell writes with Permuted Press. He edited Dr. Kim Paffenroth twice, John Dies at the End once, and provided a constructive critique to Joe McKinney on his next major novel after Dead City. You can shoot D.L. Snell in the head at www.exit66.net.
To reprint this article, please contact D.L. Snell.
First thing that morning, I sat on a panel called "Zombie Authors Round Table," along with guys such as Jonathan Maberry and Kim Paffenroth. Like a true zombie horde, the panel outnumbered the audience...
 |
| FRONT ROW (left to right): Jake Bible, Timothy Long, Rhiannon Frater, Jonathan Maberry, Tonia Brown, Patrick D'Orazio, Tony Monchinski, William Todd Rose, Stephen North, Kim Paffenroth, D.L. Snell | BACK ROW (left to right): Robert R. Best, Zombie Zak, David Dunwoody, Dr. Pus |
Q: Why zombies?I elaborated on both answers, of course, and I believe Zombie Zak recorded the whole thing, so you might even get to see it sometime soon. Everyone did a great job and was very insightful.
A: I just like watching people get shot in the head.
Q: Fast or slow?
A: Well, like Tim (Long), I swing both ways. Sometimes I like it fast... sometimes I like it slow. But sometimes I just want it hard.
Later that day, I attended Jonathan Maberry's panel. I can't even tell you how encouraging this guy is, and how informative. He's not only a great storyteller, he knows the business: Jonathan got paid seven figures, I think, for a two-book contract in the young adult market. I picked up the first book, Rot & Ruin, which you can find in my Authors bookstore (I've updated the store, by the way, with titles featured at Horror Realm--except for Permuted titles that are found in my Permuted store).
 |
| See how zombies affect our kids |
Anyway, Jonathan has an inspiring philosophy. He says the business of writing is not a competition, but a cooperative effort: the more success one author has, the more success another will have, so it makes sense to help each other out. I completely agree. If you have a chance to see this guy at a convention, take it. He's awesome.
Okay, so now it's sexy time with Ken Foree. Most of you are probably imagining lubes and ticklers and zombie makeup--but I've led you on. The truth is actually anticlimactic: I attended Ken Foree's panel, and it happened to be about his sexual exploits, none of which include me. Ken told us about his heyday, one movie shoot in particular where he took just about every woman, including a newlywed. "Judge me if you want," he said. "I'm just telling it like it is. This is what happened." Telling it like it is: a twenty-something blonde followed Ken around the convention; eyewitnesses even saw them kissing. Ken, you dog, you!
At the end of the day, I went with Jacob Kier and Tony Monchinski to see Inception. Pretty good film, although I wish they had done more world bending; that was my favorite part. I definitely was expecting more of a mystery, but it was more of a thriller. "A heist movie" is how Jacob described it. Definitely worth a watch!
Come back soon for the final installment of Horror Realm 2010: I'll be talking about how I almost slept in and missed the plane home because Jacob Kier and I stayed up all night, wondering why anyone would want to send a zombie back in time...
D.L. Snell writes with Permuted Press. He edited Dr. Kim Paffenroth twice, John Dies at the End once, and provided a constructive critique to Joe McKinney on his next major novel after Dead City. You can shoot D.L. Snell in the head at www.exit66.net.
To reprint this article, please contact D.L. Snell.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Horror Realm 2010, Pt. 1
Last year, I attended Horror Realm in Pittsburgh and had an absolute blast: Dr. Kim Paffenroth schooled me on Guinness, I missed the opportunity to photograph myself as David Dunwoody's Reaper, and I had a brief romantic encounter with Jonathan Mayberry. Like I said: fun.
This year, I did it all over again. I flew in Thursday, and Jacob Kier from Permuted Press picked me up from PIT at midnight. We did the logical thing and went to the place for smiles, Eat’n Park, in memory of Travis Adkins (guy wouldn’t eat anywhere else).
There at the restaurant, we met a chatty waiter who complained about people that didn’t give him tips; he even told us about how he chased down one non-tipper in particular. The talkative, blatantly transparent, and vaguely threatening waiter was complaining about the fourteen-year-olds that come during the graveyard shift, when the creepy bald guy in the booth across from us asked, “Yeah, but are they hot?” This same creepy bald guy, a Rush fan, went on to tell Jacob and me that if we didn’t go see Mt. Washington while in town, we’d be weird. We gave the chatty waiter a generous tip and left. We never did make it to Mt. Washington...
The next day, the first day of the con, I went to the front desk to find my books, which I had shipped earlier in the week. The concierge couldn’t find my package. And the hotel’s event coordinator was “off the property,” so she was of no help. Got to tell you, I was a little freaked. No books?! Fu!!! Thankfully, I checked with someone actually from the convention and found my package. Phew!
My table this year put me right next to Kim Paffenroth, Jason Hornsby, and Tony Monchinski--all great guys. Jason stood much taller than I imagined, and Tony had a New York accent (not sure which one). Jacob Kier and I attended an author panel for Rhiannon Frater, and let me tell you: Rhiannon does not write erotica; she writes horror. We also went to the panel for Tim Gross and Jason Hornsby. Gross was hilarious and I’m pretty sure drunk; he read his review for the Leprechaun films, including Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood, in which the monster not only takes hits from the bong, but murders someone with it. Hornsby read a gory scene from his novel Eleven Twenty-Three, and laughed when he described the bit where a little girl rips out her father’s throat and then dances in the bloody spray--it was awesome; I can’t wait to read his book.
At the end of the day, I stayed up way too late at the bar with people, talking to one of Hornsby’s friends about astral travel. When I went up to the room that I was sharing with Jacob Kier, I realized the money clip on my wallet had de-magnetized my keycard, so I had to pound on the door in the hope of waking up Jacob. He didn’t respond, so I had to call his cell. Finally, he came to the door in his shorts. He doesn’t remember a thing.
Later this week, I’ll post about my experiences on Saturday and Sunday, including sex with Ken Foree...
D.L. Snell writes with Permuted Press. He edited Dr. Kim Paffenroth twice, John Dies at the End once, and provided a constructive critique to Joe McKinney on his next major novel after Dead City. You can shoot D.L. Snell in the head at www.exit66.net.
To reprint this article, please contact D.L. Snell.
This year, I did it all over again. I flew in Thursday, and Jacob Kier from Permuted Press picked me up from PIT at midnight. We did the logical thing and went to the place for smiles, Eat’n Park, in memory of Travis Adkins (guy wouldn’t eat anywhere else).
There at the restaurant, we met a chatty waiter who complained about people that didn’t give him tips; he even told us about how he chased down one non-tipper in particular. The talkative, blatantly transparent, and vaguely threatening waiter was complaining about the fourteen-year-olds that come during the graveyard shift, when the creepy bald guy in the booth across from us asked, “Yeah, but are they hot?” This same creepy bald guy, a Rush fan, went on to tell Jacob and me that if we didn’t go see Mt. Washington while in town, we’d be weird. We gave the chatty waiter a generous tip and left. We never did make it to Mt. Washington...
The next day, the first day of the con, I went to the front desk to find my books, which I had shipped earlier in the week. The concierge couldn’t find my package. And the hotel’s event coordinator was “off the property,” so she was of no help. Got to tell you, I was a little freaked. No books?! Fu!!! Thankfully, I checked with someone actually from the convention and found my package. Phew!
My table this year put me right next to Kim Paffenroth, Jason Hornsby, and Tony Monchinski--all great guys. Jason stood much taller than I imagined, and Tony had a New York accent (not sure which one). Jacob Kier and I attended an author panel for Rhiannon Frater, and let me tell you: Rhiannon does not write erotica; she writes horror. We also went to the panel for Tim Gross and Jason Hornsby. Gross was hilarious and I’m pretty sure drunk; he read his review for the Leprechaun films, including Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood, in which the monster not only takes hits from the bong, but murders someone with it. Hornsby read a gory scene from his novel Eleven Twenty-Three, and laughed when he described the bit where a little girl rips out her father’s throat and then dances in the bloody spray--it was awesome; I can’t wait to read his book.
At the end of the day, I stayed up way too late at the bar with people, talking to one of Hornsby’s friends about astral travel. When I went up to the room that I was sharing with Jacob Kier, I realized the money clip on my wallet had de-magnetized my keycard, so I had to pound on the door in the hope of waking up Jacob. He didn’t respond, so I had to call his cell. Finally, he came to the door in his shorts. He doesn’t remember a thing.
Later this week, I’ll post about my experiences on Saturday and Sunday, including sex with Ken Foree...
D.L. Snell writes with Permuted Press. He edited Dr. Kim Paffenroth twice, John Dies at the End once, and provided a constructive critique to Joe McKinney on his next major novel after Dead City. You can shoot D.L. Snell in the head at www.exit66.net.
To reprint this article, please contact D.L. Snell.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Jonathan Maberry thought I was older
So, to continue the long tradition of "Dudes I Met at Horror Realm '09"... Jonathan Maberry is the one guy I avoided the entire con. By choice.
Now, that isn't to say I consciously avoided him--I'm playing on the ambiguity of language. I simply made choices that inadvertently led me out of his roundhouse radius.
If you're looking at the seating plan for the dealer room right now (which I know you are [geek]), you might find it impossible for me to have avoided Jonathan Maberry, as he sat about three chairs down from me, right on the other side of Z.A. Recht. But unless you're also watching the security footage from that weekend, you're missing the fact that I rarely stayed at my table. I didn't need to: I just signed a stack of books and left them for free, so I could go chase a bromance with Permuted Press's Jacob Kier.
Timely Brody Jenner references aside, I missed Maberry's reading of PATIENT ZERO, his first Joe Ledger novel. Jacob and I were probably enjoying a candlelit, uh... game of Settlers of Katan.
(By the way, I'm so late to the "Blog About Horror Realm" game that Maberry's second Joe Ledger novel, DRAGON FACTORY, already has cover art. And an ordering link.)
Despite my best efforts to make poor choices, I did briefly encounter the formidable Jonathan Maberry--and he didn't even karate-chop me.
It happened in the recess of a locked dealer-room door. Jonathan and I both took refuge there to avoid being trod upon by the J.L. Bourne troop. Fate pushed us together at the threshold, like two perfect strangers taking cover from the rain. Jacob would have been so jealous.
Jonathan came onto me immediately: he said, "I thought you'd be older."
And that was pretty much the end of it. I crawled back to Jacob for the security--and for the kids (that's what we call Permuted authors). Things have been the same ever since.
So, Jonathan, if you're reading this, we could have been so much more.
Now, that isn't to say I consciously avoided him--I'm playing on the ambiguity of language. I simply made choices that inadvertently led me out of his roundhouse radius.
If you're looking at the seating plan for the dealer room right now (which I know you are [geek]), you might find it impossible for me to have avoided Jonathan Maberry, as he sat about three chairs down from me, right on the other side of Z.A. Recht. But unless you're also watching the security footage from that weekend, you're missing the fact that I rarely stayed at my table. I didn't need to: I just signed a stack of books and left them for free, so I could go chase a bromance with Permuted Press's Jacob Kier.
Timely Brody Jenner references aside, I missed Maberry's reading of PATIENT ZERO, his first Joe Ledger novel. Jacob and I were probably enjoying a candlelit, uh... game of Settlers of Katan.
(By the way, I'm so late to the "Blog About Horror Realm" game that Maberry's second Joe Ledger novel, DRAGON FACTORY, already has cover art. And an ordering link.)
Despite my best efforts to make poor choices, I did briefly encounter the formidable Jonathan Maberry--and he didn't even karate-chop me.
It happened in the recess of a locked dealer-room door. Jonathan and I both took refuge there to avoid being trod upon by the J.L. Bourne troop. Fate pushed us together at the threshold, like two perfect strangers taking cover from the rain. Jacob would have been so jealous.
Jonathan came onto me immediately: he said, "I thought you'd be older."
And that was pretty much the end of it. I crawled back to Jacob for the security--and for the kids (that's what we call Permuted authors). Things have been the same ever since.
So, Jonathan, if you're reading this, we could have been so much more.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Dunwoody
Kim Paffenroth wasn't the only guy I met at Horror Realm. I also met fellow Permuted Press author David "The Dunwoody" Dunwoody: a pretty cool dude.
I first came across Duwoody's work while editing Permuted's debut anthology THE UNDEAD. His contribution is titled "Grinning Samuel" and the titular character, who's mainly made of scrap metal, is one of Dunwoody's most popular. Quite cool considering that "Samuel" is Dunwoody's first published story. (Most of his ideas come from dreams, I guess. So I'm wondering: can we just film his dreams? Someone get on that.)
Way before Horror Realm, I ran into Dunwoody's work again while editing THE UNDEAD II and III. We also share space in the fourth UNDEAD: HEADSHOT QUARTET. So it was great to finally meet the guy.
We shared a ride from PIT to the convention hotel, and I got to ask The Dunwoody how awesome it was that Pocket Books was reissuing EMPIRE, his first novel, for their Permuted Press imprint. Kind of a rhetorical question, but... you've got to make small talk.
Obviously Dunwoody was excited. So excited that he brought the best prop of Horror Realm 2009: a 78" standee of his first-edition book cover--with a face hole, so fans could take pictures of themselves as Death...
Here's the new book cover from Pocket Books, plus ordering links:
Maybe if you pick up a copy, you can get an autograph from The Dunwoody himself at his next convention appearance. Here's his website if you want to watch for whenever that appearance might be: http://daviddunwoody.com/
If you met The Dunwoody at Horror Realm, or have read his work, comment below!
I first came across Duwoody's work while editing Permuted's debut anthology THE UNDEAD. His contribution is titled "Grinning Samuel" and the titular character, who's mainly made of scrap metal, is one of Dunwoody's most popular. Quite cool considering that "Samuel" is Dunwoody's first published story. (Most of his ideas come from dreams, I guess. So I'm wondering: can we just film his dreams? Someone get on that.)
Way before Horror Realm, I ran into Dunwoody's work again while editing THE UNDEAD II and III. We also share space in the fourth UNDEAD: HEADSHOT QUARTET. So it was great to finally meet the guy.
We shared a ride from PIT to the convention hotel, and I got to ask The Dunwoody how awesome it was that Pocket Books was reissuing EMPIRE, his first novel, for their Permuted Press imprint. Kind of a rhetorical question, but... you've got to make small talk.
Obviously Dunwoody was excited. So excited that he brought the best prop of Horror Realm 2009: a 78" standee of his first-edition book cover--with a face hole, so fans could take pictures of themselves as Death...
Here's the new book cover from Pocket Books, plus ordering links:
Maybe if you pick up a copy, you can get an autograph from The Dunwoody himself at his next convention appearance. Here's his website if you want to watch for whenever that appearance might be: http://daviddunwoody.com/
If you met The Dunwoody at Horror Realm, or have read his work, comment below!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Dr. Paffenroth schooled me on Guinness
I've had the distinct pleasure of working with Dr. Kim Paffenroth on several occasions, starting with a blurb copy of his Stoker-winning GOSPEL OF THE LIVING DEAD. I had nice things to say about that book. As I do about Kim.
Our chairs butted backs for the first time at Horror Realm 2009--my very first convention; and first plane ride... (Oh, and my first time ever on the east coast.) His chair blocked the space between our tables; I always had to excuse myself.
At a table shared with J.L. Bourne, Kim was giving away these little book lights, which smoothly uncurled when he pressed a button. Quite cool, actually. Kim taught me about Guinness as I sipped my very first. He told me that overseas, some beers aren't even carbonated. I had never heard of such a thing. (Honestly, I'm that new to the beer scene. I'm sort of a teetotaler, too. Sort of.)
Anyway: For the past month or so, I've been editing Kim's novel LAST RITES, third in the DYING TO LIVE series; after all, I edited the first two.
But I did not edit this.
Nor did I come up with the cover design. I certainly wish I could take credit.
Kim read a piece of VALLEY at the convention. During his Q&A, I asked him, "So does your Dante faint all the time?"
Guess you'll have to read the book to find out what Kim said. But first, you'll have to wait for it to hit the Permuted press. Look for it in April.
(FYI, the next Market Scoop will be out much sooner than that. On March first, in fact.)
Our chairs butted backs for the first time at Horror Realm 2009--my very first convention; and first plane ride... (Oh, and my first time ever on the east coast.) His chair blocked the space between our tables; I always had to excuse myself.
At a table shared with J.L. Bourne, Kim was giving away these little book lights, which smoothly uncurled when he pressed a button. Quite cool, actually. Kim taught me about Guinness as I sipped my very first. He told me that overseas, some beers aren't even carbonated. I had never heard of such a thing. (Honestly, I'm that new to the beer scene. I'm sort of a teetotaler, too. Sort of.)
Anyway: For the past month or so, I've been editing Kim's novel LAST RITES, third in the DYING TO LIVE series; after all, I edited the first two.
But I did not edit this.
Nor did I come up with the cover design. I certainly wish I could take credit.
Kim read a piece of VALLEY at the convention. During his Q&A, I asked him, "So does your Dante faint all the time?"
Guess you'll have to read the book to find out what Kim said. But first, you'll have to wait for it to hit the Permuted press. Look for it in April.
(FYI, the next Market Scoop will be out much sooner than that. On March first, in fact.)
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